Black Love: Families and Relationships - Newslibre

Black Love: Families and Relationships

Let me start by saying that the history of the black child is NOT the history of the white child. The history of the Indian parent is not the history of the white or black parent.

Different groups of people find themselves in different sociopolitical positions. What that means is the psychology of these different groups flows from their history and experience. Here’s a thought experiment: If you went into a psychologist’s office, he or she would want to know your personal history because it is only through understanding it that the individual’s behaviour can be understood.

A psychologist or psychiatrist can not take the history of another individual and just apply it to you and say, “Well, I know this other person very well, so, therefore, you must behave this way too. That said, the only difference is they have a different colour from you”

That is not the way psychology is built. You can only be understood as an individual in terms of your own history and experience. When we talk then about the psychology of black people we must understand that psychology in terms of the experience of black people. You cannot get psychology from a different group of people and impose it on another group. That creates problems.

Having said all of that, we must recognise that the love relationship between the black mother and her child; between the black father and his child; between the mothers, the fathers, the sisters and the brothers in the black family are shaped by the socio-political situations in which we as black people live. That has to be taken into consideration.

We must recognise that the love relationship between black parents and their children is at times shaped by their socio-political situations

Black Love: Families and Relationships - Newslibre
Image credit: – Newslibre

So, under the circumstances, love doesn’t just flow out of the heart, it is influenced by socio-political circumstances. If there was a difference in the family in terms of the colour of their skin, or who had the “good” or the “bad” hair, that means that racism and the political-social system has influenced the parent and in return transfers the same thought process to their children or child.

The parent then creates in that child an attitude towards itself and towards the world that flows from being in a particular socio-political position.

When we talk about the black parent and the black child’s relationship, we must talk about that parent’s relationship to the white world and their socio-political position. How black people have been dealt with in society must also be considered.

All of these things influence, to a good extent, how the black parent is going to relate to his or her own child in aspects of what kind of information they pass on, how they prepare them for life, and how they’re going to express love or not love to the children.

You must understand that love, or what we call love, is shaped and maintained by socio-political systems. Therefore, you must recognise that your social life influences the way you relate to your husband, wife, children, boyfriend, girlfriend, brothers and sisters.

To end it off, what is the relationship between love and community? It’s important to understand that love between a man and a woman, or between a parrot and a child is ultimately a gift to the community itself.

When you’re a parent, you just don’t have a child for yourself. A child is born into a community of people because it is not going into it by itself. The child will live in that domain where they will relate to other people, and their own behaviour will influence others in that very community.

The greatest gift that a parent can ever give to a community is a child that is fully aware of their identity and the role they play in it

If a child turns out to be a thief, it will negatively affect the lives of the people. The community has to share in educating, supporting, feeding, and providing a sense of security to that child. Therefore, when a child is born, it is NOT only the responsibility of the parents but also that of the community.

Consequently, when one has children, one must not only think in terms of how they will relate to the family but also how they will relate to the broader community.

A child must ultimately grow up to contribute to the community, to protect the family and its interests. So, we must always keep that in mind that children are born into the community because they have the power to shape it.

If the children are self-hating, have problems with their identity, self-control or a destructive, etc, you’re bound to see a community that will fall apart or remain divided, which in return will continue to destroy other children and other people.

The greatest gift that a parent can ever give to a community, is the gift of beautiful, healthy, well-behaved children that know themselves, and have a firm identity.

In a sense, you may not be popular, famous, but we all have the potential of being good parents and that is a major contribution to the advancement of the community and its survival.

More from Mind Wreck: There’s No Virtue In Untrampled Virginity

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Author: The Broken Native

The Broken Native is a social runner, a budding poet, loves football, and basketball, reading, music (all things Indie and flirts with a bit of Jazz), and Philosophy.

And, er…ahem…he appreciates a glass of cold gin and tonic.


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