Successful women are picky; they are really choosy and it’s a big deal. They also seem to evaluate men for their fitness. They prefer men who are about 4 to 5 years older than them and they marry or date across and up dominance hierarchies.
The evidence for this in psychology is quite clear in regards to IQ; as a woman’s IQ increases the probability that she’ll be married decreases and the reason for that is; imagine a very accomplished woman; say about 29 to 30 years of age, very attractive, well put together, physically fit, they are extremely conscientious, career-focused and extraordinarily intelligent.
Well, these kinds of women intimidate most men that come close to them. It’s not because they’re acting in an intimidating way (although they do); it’s also because men tend to mate across and down dominance hierarchies. So, there aren’t that many men who are attractive, 30 – 34 years old, career-focused, very conscientious; well put together physically, intelligent and earning a very high salary (who are also unattached). The number of guys like that is very low.
You can also add one more dimension to that; a 29 to 30-year-old woman brings a problem to the table that a 23 – 25-year-old woman doesn’t bring to the table. Which is she wants to get married and have a child… TOMORROW!
Whereas a 25-year-old woman wants to have a child sometime in the next 5 years. And so, unless the guy that she’s looking for is like ready to go at the drop of a hat; then it’s easier for him to just pick a younger woman who’s just not as intimidating which happens all the time.
There’s no place to lay blame, it’s just how it is. No woman wants to find a man that she has to support and the reason for that is she’s actually looking for support because she wants to have children which is perfectly reasonable. However, there are circumstances under which that radically reduces the domain of choice that’s left for certain women.
Successful women are picky; they are really choosy and it’s a big deal.
Another thing is women also underestimate the degree to which men are terrified of women. This is so because of men’s experience, although it has changed over the years.
The probability of rejection is very high and so these women that have all these things going for them are also terrifying targets for rejection and men also assume and say, “Oh well, she must be flooded with requests” and then they don’t even bother then the age thing also kicks in.
- Business owner working at her desk.
This is one of the things that makes successful women’s lives more complicated because they have to solve all the complicated problems of life in the ages of 22 to the age of 35 and men just don’t have to do that. The pressure isn’t there for men.
As women move towards their 30’s, the power relationship between men and women also starts to transform, because there’s almost nothing less valued than a young man but that’s starting to change as men move towards their 30s if they are successful. Whereas there’s nothing more valuable than a young woman but that changes as women move towards their 30s.
These are biological facts that make the mating situation extraordinarily complicated and also quite tragic and even catastrophic. That said, there’s no easy solution on the horizon; it’s not like anybody knows what to do about it.
Author: The Broken Native
The Broken Native is a social runner, a budding poet, loves football, and basketball, reading, music (all things Indie and flirts with a bit of Jazz), and Philosophy.
And, er…ahem…he appreciates a glass of cold gin and tonic.