Has the happily ever after turned into the sadly ever after like it will never end? Everywhere you turn you think of your ex, you question your decision, you are tempted to go back.
You even slightly consider that maybe it was your fault that you guys broke up; maybe you got off to strong and overreacted. You feel like dying a little bit inside, like something is eating you up.
Often there’s a lot of pain just after a breakup, people deal with it in different ways. Some cry a river, others go on a sex rampage, some get bitchy to everyone around them, some just jump into another relationship, others just become celibate.
Problem with all these ways, none of actually provides closure, you don’t really move on. Like they say, “Cry a river, build a bridge over it and move on.” So what should you do?
Also read: How to Sense a Break Up a Mile Away
What Do I Do After a Breakup?
- Understand why there’s a breakup in the first place.Often we hurt because we never really even understand why we broke up, we are filled with guilt, endless thoughts and confusion. Trust me finding out why you actually left the person or why they left is the first step to moving on. Most of the time you’ll realize that it was inevitable and you are better off without them.
- Come to terms with it. Now that you know why, how do you come to terms with this? That it’s actually done and that no matter what happens you shouldn’t go back, don’t talk to him or her for a while until you know you’re stronger and truly over them.
- Talk to a friend. Commonly what drowns most people in never ending grief and sorry is because we try to walk the dark Silk Road alone. Talk to your most trusted friend or friends, let them know everything it can be your sister or best friend. Believe it or not, you will feel a big sigh of relief as your share the load of the burden with someone else. Plus some friends just know the right things to say to comfort and make you feel better. Oh did I forget, the hugs… hugs are like cup cakes, always delightful.
- Get a hobby and go outdoors often. Did you know the transitional period of getting over a breakup is longer and more draining if you sulk and cut out yourself from the world? Get back out there, get a hobby like swimming, reading a novel or just hang out with your friends, try to make the time about them other than you and before you know it in less than a week your breakup will be like something that happened a year ago. Get drunk (sorry but yeah lol), dance like crazy, go on a road trip, make silly jokes, flirt, go to parties, go shopping, drive, go sight seeing and so much more.
- Get active. This is very much similar to what I just said previously, only difference is try to be as active as possible in most idle times so as to prevent your mind from going into its sad place. Play local soccer, go to gym, start a business, blog, write a book, play video games, learn what some of those tools like garageband, maps or picasa on your computer or phone actually do. Before you know it you’ll forget everything and will be back into your own world.
Allan Bangirana is a freelance writer for Newslibre and Spur Magazine. He is also the co-founder of the Innovware project.
He is a freelance consultant passionate about tech, programming, games and entertainment.